For the record, I found this post funny as hell and I am a new nurse. Maybe I’ve been in the healthcare game too long before becoming a nurse, I don’t know…. Anyway….
Whether you’ve just hit the nursing floor with your first pair of clogs or you’re rounding the corner to your ten year anniversary as a nurse—you might see a little of yourself in this list (or who you used to be!). Take a moment to peruse and have a chuckle. My commentary in parenthesis.
Are you a new nurse or an experienced nurse?
A new nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.
A new nurse wears so many pins on her name badge that you can’t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons.
A new nurse charts too much. (this is me)
An experienced nurse doesn’t chart enough.
A new nurse loves to run to codes. (nope not me)
An experienced nurse makes new nurses run to codes.
A new nurse wants everyone to know she’s a nurse. (uh, yeah because people still think I’m an RT)
An experienced nurse doesn’t want anyone to know she’s a nurse.
A new nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad. (nope, papertowels are my favorite)
An experienced nurse writes on the back of her hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.
A new nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient who is disoriented and restrain him. (too much paperwork)
A new nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can’t hear any alarms at any distance.
A new nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn’t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.
A new nurse spends two hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.
A new nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.
A new nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.
A new nurse looks for a chance “to work with the family.”
An experienced nurse avoids the family.
A new nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time. (um, duh, this is pharmacy we are talking about.)
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.
A new nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.
A new nurse always answers her phone.
An experienced nurse checks the caller ID before answering the phone.
A new nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
A new nurse carries reference books in her bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch and some “cough syrup” in her bag.
A new nurse doesn’t find this list funny.
An experienced nurse does.
From Scrubs Magazine reprinted without permission. Please don’t sue me.
